Friday, March 16, 2012

To write or not to write? That shouldn't even be a question...

I've been feeling the hankering to write something recently, but I think I've gotten myself into a dangerous rut--or maybe even two. Perhaps I'm standing with a foot in each, with a nice patch of sturdy earth just waiting for me in between.
I created this blog so that I could work intentionally expressing the things that I've been learning. While this is a fine-and-dandy idea, I haven't really done much of that.
I think the rut I've placed one foot in is that of imagining I need something particularly profound to say before I can say anything. WRONG. Besides, how pretentious would I be if I actually posted something?
Wouldn't I, in a sense, be parading my self-proclaimed "brilliance" to be recognized and applauded by the less-than-ten people who would ever read it?
Gross.
Okay, so that's rut #1.
Rut #2:
Heretofore most of my posts have been limited to times when I've felt particularly inspired (especially poetically). I'm kind of a write-poetry-as-it-comes sort of gal, so the majority of what I learn will never find its way into a poem. Moreover, creativity is something that requires intentional time and a bit of that idiomatic elbow grease. As a student and a recovering perfectionist, it is difficult to feel justified in devoting precious minutes and hours to an endeavor not directly connected to my school work. Even if I did feel justified, why would I use a blog post as my outlet?

SO.
Problem diagnosed?
I know where my feet are. We'll see how easily I can move them from the self-imposed pressure of needing to sound smart or creative, and let this simply be a place where I can bring my bewildered mind and heart.

After 48 hours of Missions Conference
and 7 of a Theology Conference (with 3 more looming in the shadows of tomorrow's events)
my mind no longer wants to think or process, and my hands, stiff from note-taking, protest that I should even type out this short blurb.
Still, when it strikes my fancy to jot down a few thoughts, let it be known (but of course, you had put no restrictions on me) that this is a place uninhibited by worries about the perceptions of others or demands of perfection from myself.

Auf Wiedersehen (Oh, there's something simple to talk about. I'm learning German!)